Like always this post has been lingering on in my mind for a while. And after seeing a series of events I realize I have this persistent question propping up time and again.....
Think about it :
Normally, In a scenario when someone errs - whom are you punishing and whom are you rewarding...
Let me give you some examples:
Case 1: At work
Your team decides to go on a movie outing and do a consensus say 50% of the people agree to come (the rest do not). At the last minute there are a few more dropouts so you are left with only 25% of the people coming now.
What do we normally do - Cancel the program
Whom have we Punished: The people who accepted and have stuck to their word and have taken time out for an outing.
Whom have we rewarded: Those people who either ignored the event or changed their mind in the last minute.
And then when we do an event the next time do we really have the right to complain that people are not participating - did we bother to go and check why - maybe they think "it won't happen anyways"...
What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?
Case 2: With Children
A group of kids are supposed to attend a drawing class. All the kids are on time and 2 ppl haven't come.
What do we normally do - Wait for 5 minutes
Whom have we Punished: The children who bothered to come on time and ensure that their sense of discipline and seriousness is intact.
Whom have we rewarded: The children who are late , and this to ensure that they do no miss out on any thing important in the lesson.
The child who goes on time will reason the next time "It doesn't matter if its 5 minutes late - the teacher will wait anyways - so we can go late".
What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?
Case 3: Anyone who does a great job and gives you NO trouble
This could be anyone - your driver , your maid , your team member at work - anyone at all. They do a great job - they don't do beyond their limits but what they do they do impeccably well.
You don't have to follow up , remind , review , check and verify any of their work. One said you can forget peacefully and the job will be done. There are no concerns on rework.
Blind rule - that person occupies minimum mind share and you can delegate and sleep peacefully.
All of us have such people around us.
Now - If this person were replaced with another who is not upto the mark - we then pull up our socks - we give them special attention - more time - more energy and we are generous with praise.
After goofing up a couple of times when they finally get it right we not only praise then but also give them "Rewards and Recognition".
Whom are we punishing really: The person who is good with their work and is great to have around.
Whom are we rewarding really: The person who is erring and learning and may be or may never be as good as the efficient person.
What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?
Personally I don't have any problems with recognizing anyone who has stumbled and then learnt - but we must make it a point to recognize and give credit to the people who are correct from the start.
All the cases above talk of people who were right/ good from the beginning Versus people who were either wrong / learnt later in terms of expertise.
We often ignore that we are punishing the wrong set of people and sending across the wrong message then HOW can you expect to see a change.
You encourage one type of behavior and act stressed / surprised if you get the same back next time........ not done........
As I list down all these cases - I am just trying to get conscious about my own reward/punish impulses.
"Actions speak louder than words" and as a parent I might be sending very Wrong messages to my children about what is desirable/ correct Vs what is undesirable/ incorrect.
No amount of talking will substantiate the correctness but one action from our side will put it all in perspective.
As I write this down I will be happy if a few people become cognizant of the powerful Rewarding / Punishing syndrome and work to ACT and SPEAK in alignment....
See you till something strikes again..... :D :D
Think about it :
Normally, In a scenario when someone errs - whom are you punishing and whom are you rewarding...
Let me give you some examples:
Case 1: At work
Your team decides to go on a movie outing and do a consensus say 50% of the people agree to come (the rest do not). At the last minute there are a few more dropouts so you are left with only 25% of the people coming now.
What do we normally do - Cancel the program
Whom have we Punished: The people who accepted and have stuck to their word and have taken time out for an outing.
Whom have we rewarded: Those people who either ignored the event or changed their mind in the last minute.
And then when we do an event the next time do we really have the right to complain that people are not participating - did we bother to go and check why - maybe they think "it won't happen anyways"...
What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?
Case 2: With Children
A group of kids are supposed to attend a drawing class. All the kids are on time and 2 ppl haven't come.
What do we normally do - Wait for 5 minutes
Whom have we Punished: The children who bothered to come on time and ensure that their sense of discipline and seriousness is intact.
Whom have we rewarded: The children who are late , and this to ensure that they do no miss out on any thing important in the lesson.
The child who goes on time will reason the next time "It doesn't matter if its 5 minutes late - the teacher will wait anyways - so we can go late".
What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?
Case 3: Anyone who does a great job and gives you NO trouble
This could be anyone - your driver , your maid , your team member at work - anyone at all. They do a great job - they don't do beyond their limits but what they do they do impeccably well.
You don't have to follow up , remind , review , check and verify any of their work. One said you can forget peacefully and the job will be done. There are no concerns on rework.
Blind rule - that person occupies minimum mind share and you can delegate and sleep peacefully.
All of us have such people around us.
Now - If this person were replaced with another who is not upto the mark - we then pull up our socks - we give them special attention - more time - more energy and we are generous with praise.
After goofing up a couple of times when they finally get it right we not only praise then but also give them "Rewards and Recognition".
Whom are we punishing really: The person who is good with their work and is great to have around.
Whom are we rewarding really: The person who is erring and learning and may be or may never be as good as the efficient person.
What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?
Personally I don't have any problems with recognizing anyone who has stumbled and then learnt - but we must make it a point to recognize and give credit to the people who are correct from the start.
All the cases above talk of people who were right/ good from the beginning Versus people who were either wrong / learnt later in terms of expertise.
We often ignore that we are punishing the wrong set of people and sending across the wrong message then HOW can you expect to see a change.
You encourage one type of behavior and act stressed / surprised if you get the same back next time........ not done........
As I list down all these cases - I am just trying to get conscious about my own reward/punish impulses.
"Actions speak louder than words" and as a parent I might be sending very Wrong messages to my children about what is desirable/ correct Vs what is undesirable/ incorrect.
No amount of talking will substantiate the correctness but one action from our side will put it all in perspective.
As I write this down I will be happy if a few people become cognizant of the powerful Rewarding / Punishing syndrome and work to ACT and SPEAK in alignment....
See you till something strikes again..... :D :D
7 comments:
great note, uma...swati
too good uma .
Loved it totally. So true!!! May be time for me to think and act now.
Uma akka....actually i have a few questions to ask...
1) in your second case y do u think the students who have attended early are at loss...trust me these days schools have groomed students in such a way that just by loosing 5mins nothing is being lost by either of them....but as you hav said they develop a carefree attitude to go late....this is partially caused by the teacher who is probably not able to create interest in the student who is coming late to realize that he is missing something important.
2) Where as in the first case why would the people going for the movie be punished just because someone else dropped out from the plan....in fact they will not be invited,that's a known fact.
3)In the third case if the later person is getting a better recognition and appraisal....then the person who is giving the task is not worth it !!!!
THIS IS JUST MY OPINION....!! :)
I agree!!! I now know why I & only I always.... :D .... nice post!
Thanks for all the good comments
B - you are a kiddo hence u don't understand - grow up a little and you will agree...... :D :D
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