On any normal day I would have argued against this statement
"Desire is the root cause of all Misery"
My point being - But for the desire to succeed we would not have taken risks, explored further, learnt about the unknown, gotten better every time, discovered hidden potential and become better at many arts as human beings.
Desire has 2 connotations - the negative one and the positive one. While the Negative one slumps you down , the positive one gives you a high that none else can come near.
That which starts as Desire manifests itself as "Motivation" some call it persistence and others call it resolve of steel... but it all actually is the innate nature of a human being to want something and to work to achieve it.
Most Desires are WANTS and not NEEDS. But for an average human being whose basic needs are met - its these wants on the physical , psychological, emotional and spiritual levels that prompt us to do better to find answers and ways and means to get there.
And once we have a desire satisfied we embark on a new journey towards a new Desire.
This entire process is not as negative / sinful as its portrayed to be. Personally its a very enriching experience and but for this we would all be mundane humans existing and not living.
TODAY - however I am in a mood to contradict my own beliefs - call it the BLUE feeling / one of those days when u end up wondering why in the world u are where u are...
Today the statement "Desire is the root cause of all misery" seems totally absolutely true.......
Blessed to be born in a traditional Indian family, happily married - I should have ideally been the classic Indian girl - who learns cooking and house keeping and all other activities that make the perfect home.. (including some interior designing and gourmet cooking).
But the DAMN DESIRE to go see the corporate world - work there and find a place - build an identity and carve a niche for myself changed it all.
NO - I'm not a regular girl
Why OH why - didn't I see the GOLDEN Opportunity - to enjoy life at home when I got married. It didn't occur to me that I could have chosen to be a Home Maker and had great fun.
I am tempted to go choose that option where -
I know this is NOT what the Homemakers days are like. But when I am idealizing let me do it bordering on Utopia.
But for the Damn Desire to work and prove myself life would have been so different.
Why Did I have to have this DESIRE - To go taste success in the Corporate World , to work in a company of equals on the IQ and EQ paradigm rather than Gender?
I don't really have an answer. But what I do know is that I CAN do that now - I CAN take a break and be a home maker.
If I do take a break - I am not sure of my happiness - but my husband will definitely need "Sanity Insurance".
Am I ready to quit and stay at home - and there is a loud and clear NO from within
Truth is I Love what I am where I am - despite being judged otherwise by people on the outside. Not being the best dressed / best looking/ best cook/ most fit/ most efficient mom does hurt as a lady , but probably not being true to myself and my identity and my dreams would hurt more.
So while I Do know that sometimes "Desires are the root cause of all Misery" - I still cling tight to my Desires because this is probably my Sweet Poison.
I'd rather enjoy this misery than choose the other route and be Miserable.
Having said all this - I have a great regard for a lot of my friends who have made the choice of being Homemakers. I am lacking there and unable to "Throw in the Towel" and hence this battle within the brain...
But since I cannot Ditch my Desire - I might as well Enjoy the Miseries it brings....
So Long till something else strikes again :) :)
"Desire is the root cause of all Misery"
My point being - But for the desire to succeed we would not have taken risks, explored further, learnt about the unknown, gotten better every time, discovered hidden potential and become better at many arts as human beings.
Desire has 2 connotations - the negative one and the positive one. While the Negative one slumps you down , the positive one gives you a high that none else can come near.
That which starts as Desire manifests itself as "Motivation" some call it persistence and others call it resolve of steel... but it all actually is the innate nature of a human being to want something and to work to achieve it.
Most Desires are WANTS and not NEEDS. But for an average human being whose basic needs are met - its these wants on the physical , psychological, emotional and spiritual levels that prompt us to do better to find answers and ways and means to get there.
And once we have a desire satisfied we embark on a new journey towards a new Desire.
This entire process is not as negative / sinful as its portrayed to be. Personally its a very enriching experience and but for this we would all be mundane humans existing and not living.
TODAY - however I am in a mood to contradict my own beliefs - call it the BLUE feeling / one of those days when u end up wondering why in the world u are where u are...
Today the statement "Desire is the root cause of all misery" seems totally absolutely true.......
Blessed to be born in a traditional Indian family, happily married - I should have ideally been the classic Indian girl - who learns cooking and house keeping and all other activities that make the perfect home.. (including some interior designing and gourmet cooking).
But the DAMN DESIRE to go see the corporate world - work there and find a place - build an identity and carve a niche for myself changed it all.
NO - I'm not a regular girl
- I don't have a penchant for dressing and designing clothes ( I don't understand that area and Don't conform to any designer's model either - so I am eons away from there)
- I like Gold but while I enjoy traditional jewellery - its for the ethnic origin and the Indian-ness and value - I cannot have a 5 minute discussion on the weight and the make etc. - Hell I don't even know how the jeweller actually makes money while I feel like I got a huge discount.
- I don't compare prices at any point in time - where is the time ? - I need I buy - so I am not a "Samajhdaar Grihini" if u know what I mean.
- I Can't prepare a 4 course meal to entertain a bunch of people - my cooking is next only to my sewing capabilities (which are 0 by the way). I am a Convenience Cook :) but my family is happy so am I.
Why OH why - didn't I see the GOLDEN Opportunity - to enjoy life at home when I got married. It didn't occur to me that I could have chosen to be a Home Maker and had great fun.
I am tempted to go choose that option where -
- Kids and Husband packed off to school and I have time on hands to do the activity of my choice - EVERY day for a few hours.
- The luxury of being able to take it slow and not rushing against deadlines (and doing everything from memory without needing a single list)
- The ability to be able to tell from one designer to another (and be a size where I can easily model around in those creations as well).
- To be able to literally put a Chef to shame with my Gourmet food on table (and be terribly confident about it).
- To call myself a home maker - and hence be given credit for taking wonderful care of my children (Beats me why working mothers are always perceived as inadequate when it comes to taking care of their kids)
- To run to the door when my husband returns from office (very Bollywood but why not)
- To accompany my husband to all the places he travels (no issues about leaves and vacation plans)
- And to top it all - NO review, No performance Assessments, No promotions or Otherwise, No Roadmaps for next 5 years.
I know this is NOT what the Homemakers days are like. But when I am idealizing let me do it bordering on Utopia.
But for the Damn Desire to work and prove myself life would have been so different.
Why Did I have to have this DESIRE - To go taste success in the Corporate World , to work in a company of equals on the IQ and EQ paradigm rather than Gender?
I don't really have an answer. But what I do know is that I CAN do that now - I CAN take a break and be a home maker.
If I do take a break - I am not sure of my happiness - but my husband will definitely need "Sanity Insurance".
Am I ready to quit and stay at home - and there is a loud and clear NO from within
Truth is I Love what I am where I am - despite being judged otherwise by people on the outside. Not being the best dressed / best looking/ best cook/ most fit/ most efficient mom does hurt as a lady , but probably not being true to myself and my identity and my dreams would hurt more.
So while I Do know that sometimes "Desires are the root cause of all Misery" - I still cling tight to my Desires because this is probably my Sweet Poison.
I'd rather enjoy this misery than choose the other route and be Miserable.
Having said all this - I have a great regard for a lot of my friends who have made the choice of being Homemakers. I am lacking there and unable to "Throw in the Towel" and hence this battle within the brain...
But since I cannot Ditch my Desire - I might as well Enjoy the Miseries it brings....
So Long till something else strikes again :) :)
3 comments:
you are so expressive... once again a good one
Good thoughts Uma...it is like window shopping ...you whet your desire to be super relaxed as Home makers are supposed to be....and of course the wish for the sweet poison of a corporate life guilt free...that is life all about....my thoughts now...if one need not worry about the pay packet and has a pampering husband, taking a break(of course after a fulfilling corporate stint n success) and doing something that you really love is the best...like what I am doing now....burning a bit of my Hub's money and also picking up two Psychology courses for the love n heck of it.Life's come full circle.Amen;)
Nice thoughts on positive/negative desires. I believe this famous buddha's saying may be misunderstood. As you say, we need desire to explore the unknown and that is surely a good thing to do.
I believe the fundamental point is if we are happy as-is currently. Are we content with the current state of affairs in our life? Let's call this a state of fullness (total-acceptance, no complaints).
A desire arising from a state of fullness is a good thing. It's usually creative [like a happy /content painter creating a new painting]. It's an expansion process.
A desire arising from a perceived sense of lack [thinking if i become that/ get that, i will be happier] causes misery. This desires arises from a 'to-fix' mind-set.
So the trick/path is to first ensure we are happy as we are in the current situation. Once we can do this, any desire arising is a good thing.
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