Mentors - Who are they really ??

Across my 16+ years of work life - if there is 1 common constant - that has helped me learn - its the Mentors I choose. Not all of them have been wonderful.

Some have engaged with me in a dialogue that has given me insights and some have just held onto the working relationship because they probably could not refuse or I was just a number in their mentoring repertoire

That said I will still say - "If you want to enjoy your work journey - get a Mentor". One should have not more than 3 mentors at any given point in time - in context of your work.

Also classify why you engage in the relationship. In my case - I have one Work-Lifestyle mentor - someone who is a lady - fairly senior - understands my trials and tribulations at work. Who will sense my apprehensions with decisions I make. More of a Personal Coach. Another one of my mentor is a techie - geek personified and I look up to that person to give me specific guidance in a specific aspirational area.

A lot of us work - and it is not uncommon to find a "Mentor in a Manager" - that is a great place to be in. To have a rewarding relationship as a Mentor / Mentee - we need to be interested in the journey. As a mentor myself - I can state for a fact that if there is no interest - this will do more harm than good. Its easier to refuse the relationship than get into it and not do the right thing.

I have had cases where I have repeatedly tried to reach out to the mentor with no response (at an emotional level) - we are talking but there is a lag- the answers are all great to my questions - but the shine in the eye is missing. They give time - but they don't give their intent and heart - and its no good. Lesson I learnt out of that - I will never mentor if I don't agree to it in principle.

No matter how sincere you try to appear - not being engaged - will tell. At a most basic human level the other person can sense your disinterest.

As a Mentee - One must try and find someone who one can look up to - not to fix your problems but to give you a new point of view to think of. To help pause and reassess before one jumps to conclusions.

As a Mentor - its a learning - from some point in life that we left behind. A time machine moment - where you get to hear of someone who is still in the journey that you experienced many years back. And Yes - the journey and experiences will be very different and that's where the Mentor learns from.

One of my Best Mentors - Chandra - was also my manager - he gave me guidance with subtle nuances. The biggest gift I was given as a relative new comer in the industry was trust and space - Trust to do my job well and Space to plan and do it at my pace.

There are many things about this Mentoring relationship that I fondly look back and I draw lessons from it to this day - of my tenure with that manager. So much that when I moved to another team and group my sense of purpose declined so much - that I moved out of the Organization.

All of us have undeclared Mentors in our Life - a female friend, some one who is an older sibling , a friend who is older in school, sometimes our parents , uncles /aunts who we are very close to - anyone who has been there done that - who we think are cool and who we trust enough to go pour our heart out... Take a look at your life - your Mentors and their attitudes do have a tell on your life - so choose carefully. When you choose a mentor you give control over some part of you thought process to that person - and that is a huge responsibility. Give it to people who will value it.

I write this today because I realized my 11 year old has associations - automatic mentors in life - from seniors in the community to people he looks up to. I do hope that he gets good Mentors in his life - because the lessons that one learns are far more deep and will enrich him better as a human being.

"Learn to see life through a prism rather than a single colored lens" - that is what Mentors allow us to do - they pull us out of our conditioning and thought process and help us enjoy another Point of View and That Jouney with a Right Mentor - is Priceless.....

Back to Blogging

Back to Blogging - after an ERA

I do realize I haven't blogged for a Very Very long time. There have been several things that have happened during these few years. Has Life been so good and have all nice things happened - NO

I have had some amazingly challenging situations and some super awesome moments too - just like everyone else - all the time :) :)

I have also realized that Facebook takes away my thoughts in a more instant fashion and I do not blog - BUT it also dawned on me that I get more joy from blogging my heart out than I get out of writing a 4 liner as an FB status.

Lots of things on my mind and tonnes of stuff that I want to write about. I wish I had 8 hands and could type 4 coherent thought streams in parallel.

Life has been tough - its has been truly like one of those rides with all the ups and downs in an amusement park and YET - I would not change a thing.

I have also seen cases where someone has messed up - truly totally messed up - they got up , took a decision to not wallow in self pity and took action. Moved on - There is only 1 life and you get to CHOOSE how to ACT and what you make of it (no matter what happens to you).

We decided to make life a little interesting and so we moved 15,000 Miles west - lock stock and barrel to adjust to a new place - make new friends and find some fun in life - break the routine - build a life and a home at a new place - kind of get a new identity - has it been easy - Hell NO - would we do it if  we knew the future - I might hold back for a while but We would still do it. These are the chances that you get once in a lifetime ( disguised as situations where you need to take a decision) - use those opportunities......

In the recent past I have been attending quite a few courses on leadership and the associated soft skills that come with it... I plan to write a few posts on that alone in the near future... so keep watching...

While I have had several recommendations to turn my Blog to be a career / professional discussion hub (more so for women) - I have resisted from doing so.

My Blog is a reflection of who I am in totality. I am as much a career gal as I am a mom and as much as I love my nail enamel and lipsticks and handbags. I mean I write as a person in totality - so that I have the freedom to rant and rave about a variety of topics...... keeping it to one area of my life - would just be that .......one part of me talking ...

So Good / Bad News based on how you take it - you will continue to hear from me on my woes on different topics ranging from How to keep the American Accent out of my Child's Telugu to My struggles at work to balance florescent green nail polish with a taupe colored footwear :P :P.

And no there will be no Topics like World Peace or Carrots and Peas.

So much for coming back to blogging - I DO want to keep up at it this time...... I hope I do cause I love doing this - its just that the blog doesn't act like a needy child and yell my name once a month... just that and then there is TV.......

So till I write again - Ciao and this time hopefully very soon....

 

Desire the root cause of all misery........ Absolutely

On any normal day I would have argued against this statement

"Desire is the root cause of all Misery"

My point being - But for the desire to succeed we would not have taken risks, explored further, learnt about the unknown, gotten better every time, discovered hidden potential and become better at many arts as human beings.

Desire has 2 connotations - the negative one and the positive one. While the Negative one slumps you down , the positive one gives you a high that none else can come near.

That which starts as Desire manifests itself as "Motivation" some call it persistence and others call it resolve of steel... but it all actually is the innate nature of a human being to want something and to work to achieve it.

Most Desires are WANTS and not NEEDS. But for an average human being whose basic needs are met - its these wants on the physical , psychological, emotional and spiritual levels that prompt us to do better to find answers and ways and means to get there.

And once we have a desire satisfied we embark on a new journey towards a new Desire.

This entire process is not as negative / sinful as its portrayed to be. Personally its a very enriching experience and but for this we would all be mundane humans existing and not living.

TODAY - however I am in a mood to contradict my own beliefs - call it the BLUE feeling / one of those days when u end up wondering why in the world u are where u are...

Today the statement "Desire is the root cause of all misery" seems totally absolutely true.......

Blessed to be born in a traditional Indian family, happily married - I should have ideally been the classic Indian girl - who learns cooking and house keeping and all other activities that make the perfect home.. (including some interior designing and gourmet cooking).

But the DAMN DESIRE to go see the corporate world - work there and find a place - build an identity and carve a niche for myself changed it all.

NO - I'm not a regular girl

• I don't have a penchant for dressing and designing clothes ( I don't understand that area and Don't conform to any designer's model either - so I am eons away from there)

• I like Gold but while I enjoy traditional jewellery - its for the ethnic origin and the Indian-ness and value - I cannot have a 5 minute discussion on the weight and the make etc. - Hell I don't even know how the jeweller actually makes money while I feel like I got a huge discount.

• I don't compare prices at any point in time - where is the time ? - I need I buy - so I am not a "Samajhdaar Grihini" if u know what I mean.

• I Can't prepare a 4 course meal to entertain a bunch of people - my cooking is next only to my sewing capabilities (which are 0 by the way). I am a Convenience Cook :) but my family is happy so am I.

Why OH why - didn't I see the GOLDEN Opportunity - to enjoy life at home when I got married. It didn't occur to me that I could have chosen to be a Home Maker and had great fun.

I am tempted to go choose that option where -

• Kids and Husband packed off to school and I have time on hands to do the activity of my choice - EVERY day for a few hours.

• The luxury of being able to take it slow and not rushing against deadlines (and doing everything from memory without needing a single list)

• The ability to be able to tell from one designer to another (and be a size where I can easily model around in those creations as well).

• To be able to literally put a Chef to shame with my Gourmet food on table (and be terribly confident about it).

• To call myself a home maker - and hence be given credit for taking wonderful care of my children (Beats me why working mothers are always perceived as inadequate when it comes to taking care of their kids)

• To run to the door when my husband returns from office (very Bollywood but why not)

• To accompany my husband to all the places he travels (no issues about leaves and vacation plans)

• And to top it all - NO review, No performance Assessments, No promotions or Otherwise, No Roadmaps for next 5 years.

It's all in the flow....... Life Happens while you are busy enjoying the small things. And many more such things from the Fancyland.

I know this is NOT what the Homemakers days are like. But when I am idealizing let me do it bordering on Utopia.

But for the Damn Desire to work and prove myself life would have been so different.

Why Did I have to have this DESIRE - To go taste success in the Corporate World , to work in a company of equals on the IQ and EQ paradigm rather than Gender?

I don't really have an answer. But what I do know is that I CAN do that now - I CAN take a break and be a home maker.

If I do take a break - I am not sure of my happiness - but my husband will definitely need "Sanity Insurance".

Am I ready to quit and stay at home - and there is a loud and clear NO from within 

Truth is I Love what I am where I am - despite being judged otherwise by people on the outside. Not being the best dressed / best looking/ best cook/ most fit/ most efficient mom does hurt as a lady , but probably not being true to myself and my identity and my dreams would hurt more.

So while I Do know that sometimes "Desires are the root cause of all Misery" - I still cling tight to my Desires because this is probably my Sweet Poison.

I'd rather enjoy this misery than choose the other route and be Miserable.

Having said all this - I have a great regard for a lot of my friends who have made the choice of being Homemakers. I am lacking there and unable to "Throw in the Towel" and hence this battle within the brain...

But since I cannot Ditch my Desire - I might as well Enjoy the Miseries it brings....

So Long till something else strikes again :) :)
 

New Year Resolutions - Really.......

It's this time of the year - when we all RESOLVE to do something to make our life better - atleast that's what I understood about resolutions.

A decision to act / do something to ensure we have a better life than the past year - and since we CHOOSE to ACT it becomes obvious that the situation will be better...

But do we really "Choose to ACT" at all....

The entire social media and mindshare of common man is engulfed by grief about the "Delhi Rape Case".

Yet - many believe this is a one off case that caught media fancy - which is why there is so much information about it. Can we discount this claim - unfortunately NO.

All of us are sad and concerned - Sad about the state of affairs and the inability of OUR elected representatives to do anything at all...

And concerned that tomorrow it might be any one of us - and it would be no different - just a different name and a different photograph....

But then "What can we do?"
- We are so away from the crime scene
- We don't have any control over how people in Delhi behave
-  We can only feel bad - not in our hands really.........

IS IT REALLY

How many of us have witnessed eve teasing - when the victim is another girl and we just walk past  saying this is all common - Reasons are any of these

- She must have done something - we don't want to get into a mess
- I am not a local here so I better stay out
- He is a local goon so its very unsafe

And the one that takes the Cake - "I'm in a hurry - no time". If the victim were you then.... do u think that girl there has the time and is enjoying it???

So REALLY if you WANT a New Year Resolution that truly impacts your life then "Choose to ACT"..

• Every time you see someone downplaying a girl or talking crap about a girl - getup and talk - don't just listen like dead wood - speak up right there....

• Every time you see a girl being troubled - try and help her - there must be some smart way to save a girl out of an uncomfortable situation

• Every time a girl refuses - RESPECT her choice - and let her be

• Every time there is an IDIOT who states "We can't do anything - its the girls fault" give them one tight slap and tell them tomorrow it could be your sister / daughter then would you think the same?

AND Most IMPORTANT - It's the current generation of Guys who NEED to do this...

You are the lucky lot who get to enjoy the company of intelligent , independent women who can think and act on their own - who give you space and work with you to make life better at home and work.

You are the lucky lot for whom some of the most intelligent women have given up their careers to be your wives - would you do that for them - I doubt....

So when some IDIOT is stereotyping women as dumb decorative pieces - if you keep silent - you rather deserve a sample of that rather than the gem of a person you currently have.......

SCHOOLS and COLLEGES - are to be ready to - they have all senseless lessons in life - Wonder why "SELF DEFENSE" is not an important part of it.

I would make the parents of girls responsible too - if your daughter can come out of school being a math / science wiz why not a black belt in karate....

You have the common sense to take "Child Education Insurance" for the future have you thought of Child Safety insurance in the form of Self Defense....

I might sound very negative/pensive and angry but its true - parents today are busy sending their daughters to dance classes and music classes even to finishing schools - which I agree is good in a way - but why not Karate / any other self defense class.

How many parents of boys have thought of sending them to finishing school to learn how to behave well with a lady? - They would learn as they grow up right - why this fundamental difference in thought process - this is where the differences start from - HOME.

Exercise and fitness is a priority for boys why not girls - the fitter they are the better they can handle any such mishaps - if they are all alone.

I know this is all a vent and wishful to a certain extent - but its also very practical to my mind. As a child my parents gave me a lot of independence to do what I liked , have fun and discover life with a sense of safety...... we MUST work to pass on that as a LINEAGE to the next generation.

Girls/ Boys - all of them from the next generation must be taught "Lessons in Respecting Women" and valuing them in the system at all levels.

Am not sure how much this makes sense... but my New Year Resolution - for now is to "Choose to ACT"...... and ACT at the right time........

 Wishing you all a Happy New Year where you choose to make it a better life for yourself..........

 

 

Happy 2013......

 

Whom are we punishing really????

Like always this post has been lingering on in my mind for a while. And after seeing a series of events I realize I have this persistent question propping up time and again.....

Think about it :

Normally, In a scenario when someone errs - whom are you punishing and whom are you rewarding...

Let me give you some examples:

Case 1: At work

Your team decides to go on a movie outing and do a consensus say 50% of the people agree to come (the rest do not). At the last minute there are a few more dropouts so you are left with only 25% of the people coming now.

What do we normally do - Cancel the program

Whom have we Punished: The people who accepted and have stuck to their word and have taken time out for an outing.

Whom have we rewarded:  Those people who either ignored the event or changed their mind in the last minute.

And then when we do an event the next time do we really have the right to complain that people are not participating - did we bother to go and check why - maybe they think "it won't happen anyways"...

What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?

Case 2: With Children

A group of kids are supposed to attend a drawing class. All the kids are on time and 2 ppl haven't come.

What do we normally do - Wait for 5 minutes

Whom have we Punished: The children who bothered to come on time and ensure that their sense of discipline and seriousness is intact.

Whom have we rewarded: The children who are late , and this to ensure that they do no miss out on any thing important in the lesson.

The child who goes on time will reason the next time "It doesn't matter if its 5 minutes late - the teacher will wait anyways - so we can go late".

What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?

Case 3: Anyone who does a great job and gives you NO trouble

 This could be anyone - your driver , your maid , your team member at work - anyone at all. They do a great job - they don't do beyond their limits but what they do they do impeccably well.

You don't have to follow up , remind , review , check and verify any of their work. One said you can forget peacefully and the job will be done. There are no concerns on rework.

Blind rule - that person occupies minimum mind share and you can delegate and sleep peacefully.

All of us have such people around us.

Now - If this person were replaced with another who is not upto the mark - we then pull up our socks - we give them special attention - more time - more energy and we are generous with praise.

After goofing up a couple of times when they finally get it right we not only praise then but also give them "Rewards and Recognition".

Whom are we punishing really: The person who is good with their work and is great to have around.

Whom are we rewarding really: The person who is erring and learning and may be or may never be as good as the efficient person.

What is the message and what is the behavior we are driving?


Personally I don't have any problems with recognizing anyone who has stumbled and then learnt - but we must make it a point to recognize and give credit to the people who are correct from the start.

All the cases above talk of people who were right/ good from the beginning Versus people who were either wrong / learnt later in terms of expertise.

We often ignore that we are punishing the wrong set of people and sending across the wrong message then HOW can you expect to see a change.

You encourage one type of behavior and act stressed / surprised if you get the same back next time........ not done........

As I list down all these cases - I am just trying to get conscious about my own reward/punish impulses. 

"Actions speak louder than words" and as a parent I might be sending very Wrong messages to my children about what is desirable/ correct Vs what is undesirable/ incorrect.

No amount of talking will substantiate the correctness but one action from our side will put it all in perspective.

As I write this down I will be happy if a few people become cognizant of the powerful Rewarding / Punishing syndrome and work to ACT and SPEAK in alignment....

See you till something strikes again.....  :D :D
 

The Battles Within........

Today in a rather pensive mood after a particularly sleepless night - thanks to my 1 year old who decided to maximize his playtime till 1 - I am in a Zoombied -Deep Thinking state.

For those of you who think that's fiction - wait to be a parent please.....

It's one of those "Smashaana Variagyam" characteristics - when in the midst of darkness you find yourself thinking of major topics of enlightenment..

In my case I am thinking of a tonne of them at one shot - whoever said Women can multi-task meant multi-think and multi-conclude too...

So just to give you a sample of the clutter that's playing symphony in my head I am categorizing the TOP 3 discussions happening right NOW.

Read at your OWN RISK Please...........


1) Work Versus Stay at Home

Every working mom goes through this - ALWAYS - there is no liberation from this argument unless you give up the Job I guess. On any given day your child might choose to wail out "Maaaa" and your head and heart will go in unison - "See he needs you - you need to be at home - work can happen later in life" and so on........... But the mind in all its sensibilities is telling me - you career and job IS your first baby - you nurtured it with the same effort like your kids - you put energy into it just like you do for your kids. If you had a 3rd child would you drop it because the first 2 need you - and then the answer is there. I respect every mother who gave up a flourishing career for the children. I would not have been writing this if decisions were soo easy for me. I continue to work and yet continue to face the battle within........BUT am I convinced am not sure.

Will I EVER be sure - I'm not sure about that either (dunno what emoticon can really express how I feel).


2) Eating Right for the Body Versus Eating Right for the Mind

Essentially a battle of Nutrition Versus Cravings and at times Hormones and PMS and everything else in the middle - that piles onto the middle eventually. The almighty creator didn't really understand equality - how else could he have given people such varying weights and such varying physical personnas. I have a friend Uma (coincidentally today is her B'day) - yeah we are namesake - if you look at us you could pass a law against naming such contrasting ppl with the same name... All her life she has been trying to gain weight - yeah u read it right...... and here I am on the other end of the spectrum.

Accepting one's physical limitations (or excess ) is tough, but to be put into an environment that screams how different I am from the norm and one where I am surrounded by ultra slim GLAM Moms - who are discussing how to lose the last 500 gms and last 1/2 cm to fit into the latest LBD is unfair.

All this and expecting me to be perfectly rational as well as normal and ACT Naturally as if nothing happened - is Unrealistic. Sometimes I am forced to wonder if I am from a different Planet altogether.......

Will I ever be in compliance with the norm - maybe never - so do I accept myself and make peace - I am not sure about that either..............


3) The want and the need (what's right and what's left)

So much for trying to explain this philosophy to my child and him nodding his head - me feeling happy he understood the most important lesson of life. Till he comes and tells me yesterday - "I want Bay Blade Stadium" - No No Wait "I Need a Bay Blade Stadium - so get me one soon". :( :( :(

I wish I was so clear about my wants in life..... They are so many that even dreaming of them is costly of late. It's got nothing to do with the actual spend - this is all mental - all within... Just as "Being Contented” happens within "Wanting / having desires" happens within. And it's a tough balance to strike - to be able to decide the need Versus want of anything. It's like running an enterprise and checking the balance sheet. Being Aware of this battle and knowing that it occurs every time we make a decision to buy is important. It can help us to not give-in to impulse purchases as the experts call it..................

But when the heart wants it - the mind doesn't stand a chance...... poor thing's voice is drowned in the exciting music that the heart orchestrates as we aspire to fulfill the materialistic desire.............

Will I ever reach a point where I will weight every purchase decision logically as a Want / Need - maybe never - So do I really accept to be faulty and start practicing "how to tame your desires" course - I'm not sure about that either..........

Now - with soo many conversations happening within - and  A Job, 2 kids and a Home to run....... Atleast for Today - anyone asking me to "Simplify Life" is just sooooo finished........
 

Motherhood - an emotional journey

I am a New Mom - a second time around.. like they say - its never enough experience for somethings in life and "Childbirth" is one such thing.

No 2 pregnancies are alike and no 2 babies are similar and you as a MOM are not the same too.

The family and the social fabric that changes also bring in a tonne of challenges. The first time its about discovering parenthood - if that is true then the second time around is about ENJOYING it all over again - knowing what to expect and expecting the joys .

The first one year of the baby is a beautiful time - especially for the mom - because NOTHING else is more important to the baby than you. A feeling that is unparallel.

A feeling that most moms cherish deep within forever - even if the child is 30 and has found their own nest.

My elder one all of 7 has his own agenda now - but I still wish I could go back in time and be THE special one - but like they say time flies - in case of children it flies like a super-sonic jet.....

A couple of years from now - I will be managing a teenager - the thought sends down a shiver down my spine. The social feedback on teens is not helping either - I hear bizzare stories about everything that could go wrong.

I sometimes have begun wondering if we have become epitomes of negativity - we hardly have positive things to share as parents - we are totally ready with handy incidents that went wrong and in that process we have successfully petrified a mom who was otherwise fine...

All this translates to some nightmares sometimes - especially since the mothers are the more emotional lot - also probably because deep within our children are still infants - forever.....

The father let's the child grow and grow up- I guess mothers dont let that happen too easily - naturally so because bonding with the father happens when the child grows - with the mother its the other way round...

My lil fellow is 10  Months old now - has starting standing and walking with some help - is discovering sounds as he blabbers - I AM still THE MOST PRECIOUS person to him - But I can see his intrest in cars , bikes and all other things that his Big Bro likes - they bring a spark to his face and he lights up... Good yes er actually I don't know....

Deep within I wish I could slow this whole process down - I wish I could make the first 2 years to take 20 and the next 18 to take 2 - I would be solving soo many probs with this... I would get soo many more moments of  mommy-time.

Sighhh this is just a wish and as I know this I congnizantly slow down with life, work and other stuff - including dusting and cleaning.

10 years later I might have a designer house - but now I have my babies who still hug me and cuddle me and run to me and cry for me ... and I am enjoying this

This is precious and worth savouring slowly - all else can wait...........

Including weight loss :P :P

Trip to Tirumala - the 3 Gundus

This week - we just came back from the pilgrimmage called Tirupathi. At the end of the trip I had several things..

3 Gundus (DH and 2 Sons) and 3 ailments - the Cold and Cough and Throat Infection decided to stay loyal to me. Also they decided to bless my kids as well. As a result I have been working from home this whole week.

As an educated lady I totally understand when people ask me to keep away from crowds since I could be the "Infection Giver". But what I fail to understand is how to stay away from my infant and still take care of him and still ensrue that he doesnt catch a cold. -- Innovation anybody - badly needed here please............

Coming back to the Trip to Tirupathi - this place is belssed - the trip is a testimony to several good qualities in us as human beings.

Patience is a Virtue - long forgotten - that we are reminded of when we yearn to have a darshan, the time taken to reach to the sanctum sanctoriom is a process of purification in itself. We have got used to quick money and easy luxury and have forgotten that patience (for 9 months) is what actually got us into this world...

All Humans are equal - NO MATTER what arrangements we make, how much we plan in advance , who gives letters and where we stay, whether it takes 2 hours or 24 hours to each the darshan point,  in the end - the Darshan is Divine - Enticing and its equal to all - the diety is visible exactly for 1-2 minutes in a normal case.

But hey, how many of us really pray whole-heartedly without any desires to GOD beyond these 2 mins. Check yourself out. If you can stand in a temple for more than 2 minutes and if your mind doesn't start reeling desires - you are an enlightened soul..........

The Darshan in Tirupathi is soo pious because its devoid of desires for many - the sheer appreciation of the diety and the admiration of the Diety that you have soo longed to see is purely spiritual, since we do not get time beyond that.

I have completed a trip with 2 kids - however I have enjoyed this (just like all my earlier trips to Tirumala) and am eager to go again whenever life permits.

To add to it , I am currently feeling pretty nice given I am surrounded by 3 gundus of very different size, shape and color :)

Back with a bang

After more than a year - have resolved to restart this activity.

During this 1.5 years - I have travelled to the US for a trip to meet my sister, have had my second baby - thus completing my family and have done many other good things and not so good things too....

Recently, I was exposed to a training on "Decluttering your Life" and "Spending your time on what YOU choose to". I quite surprisingly realized I wanted to spend time writing this BLOG.

This is not only an opportunity for me to pen my thoughts but a reflection of it for me to come back after sometime and experience these moments again.

So I have decided to start writing again - the posts may be lacking in purpose / a certain theme but there will definitely be something that I enjoyed or something that made my life worth it.

For now - I introduce my family of 3 Men (Niranjan Mantha, Hitesh Mantha and Dravid Mantha). The ernest yearning for a daughter has not frutified so I am busy making up for all this by treating myself to all the shopping and pampering  I can (since I stand sans competition in my family).

This year 2012 - has been quite a beautiful year for several reasons. After probably dilly-dallying for almost 9 to 10 years I have started driving. The sense of freedom is still sinking in - but it is precious.

I started learning swimming - didn't get to the finish - but having experienced the underwater buoyancy - I am sure I will go back and conquer that beast as well.

Family complete - brings home to me a major responsibility - to loose weight - not only the post-partum but also the earlier mess that I have managed to amass with great gusto.

I am still warming up to the idea of doing this seriously but do I MUST - its just round the corner - how far the corner is - is the eternal question :P.

All said and done you will see much more of me this year and going forward as I write to myself about myself for myself........

Thinking and Thunking all over again........

2011 - New Year with New Realizations

My Dear Best Friend,

As we mark the beginning of 2011, the realization dawned on me how incosiderate I have been to you. You have always been faithful to me. For all the blunders I committed your stood up for me. Many times you took the hit for all the mistakes I made. The wrong decisions that I made or the right ones that I didn't affected you but you never complained.

Despite all this I never gave you credit. Not once did I stop and acknowledge that you are a great friend to have. (THE ONLY One that will be with me always). You are as important to me as my identity.

There have been many times when I have made attempts to work on our relationship - outwardly. But I never strived to understand the inner deeper need and never tried to work with you.

As I realize this that you have been there for me suddenly I feel sad and responsible for all the damage in our relationship, for all the negative comments that I passed on you, for being so brash and unkind to you and inturn to myself.

My New Year Realization/ Resolution is to accept YOU with unconditional love and work towards healing our relationship from within.

This will take time and is tough since I have been conditioned to give criticism and negative feedback since years. I will need your love and support to change this as I change many other things to ensure we have a wonderful happy lifelong friendship.

Thanks for always being there with me.
I love you my dear best friend....


Dear Readers,

Each one us has a friend like this. Am not sure if this is the treatment you put them through - but give it a thought. That friends still stays with you and rises to your demands... still wondering who this is .....

YOUR BODY - Learn to LOVE and ACCEPT it.

The Year that's going by bye bye - 2010

I know this year has been hectic - soo much as I made it... so much that I didn't really blog at all..

My Blog has been wilting away in neglect while I did have a couple of amazing experiences...... if this were my diary the year 2010 has gone missing from here...

My promise to myself - to be more regular on this one. There are other promises to keep as well on the exercise and weight loss front... but this one is the easier of the lot.

2010 was a roller coaster ride of sorts - some good news , some bitter news.. but overall life was normal with the mix of the good, the wonderful, the amazing and the ugly all in equal portions.

Some amazing learning that came with a self realization that I am unique and special, also I don't really have a choice... GOD never gave me an exchange policy so I must make most of what i really am - and better it since I can't exchange it.

Some great lessons for my life have happened, while I see the word from the eyes of my 6 year old, who at times seems more profound than the wisest old people around me.

A gang of girls that I found as friends - they taught me how to just accept people as they are - no baggage and no background. A really great lesson.

Another eye opener - some things in life will never happen - just because we are not ready - one classic case is my hair straightening - am not sure if I am really ready for the process.

Also there are some things in life that will always be there with you - no matter what, the family, the work place that has become my second family and so on so forth. A realization that I was wanting a change because I was feeling too comfortable felt really good too.

All in all a great year...... tonnes of resolutions coming up - some to keep and some to keep mum about........ all set for 2011

All the best and have a great year ahead....... see ya next year....

Self Discovery

This is probably one of those periods of my life when I am knowing things about myself that are very contradictory to what I always thought I was. The period of self discovery as I might call it. It also brings with it a realization that we all change. And that's probably why something that was really good for me 10 years ago is hopeless for the same me right now, OR "Is it the SAME ME at all" is the question.

OK so before you dismiss my ramblings as nonsense here's the find that made me go this road. I have had some chances to observe myself in the recent past - some traits of me that are non-mutable. They will never change I guess. But others that have changed - for e.g. I loved studying. I was accredited with studying as a disease by one of my irate cousins. But now I realized I don't enjoy it soo much. I still love reading but that's for pleasure rather than the academic part of it. I might want to categorize this as Signs of old age maybe or even Signs of familial responsibilities. Whatever I brand it - I have changed and this realization came to me really recently.

Also I am not a movie buff - never was - but I also hated and resisted approaching the Idiot Box. But in the recent past I found myself not only tolerating it but also enjoying this. Surprised - absolutely but what brought this change - no idea, definitely not the quality of programmes that can start with some soap or a reality show in a jungle to some item girl getting hooked on national television.

These are just the periphery of the changes that have been happening in the Internal topography of mine. Will post as I discover, but am I even discovering something as I post this - am not sure.

C'ya till next time...
Be happy, Stay happy and keep discovering yourself :)

The Game called LIFE

As, I write this post I am in a state where there is lull before the storm kind of silence at work. The break that one often gets between two super challenging and hair pulling tasks. I am enjoying the leisure that comes with this fully aware that there is going to be something soon and that something is going to need all my strength and commitment. For the yet uninitiated - I am on BENCH :)

I have come across several comments in the past 3 weeks ( the duration of this luxurious paid holiday of mine till date). Some of them have asked me if i am not anxious since i don't have work to do. I totally believe if I don't get such breaks i will break. Non stop work hasn't done anyone good at any time. I am enjoying this gap - the freedom TO DO NOTHING is surely a great gift when normally you have tonnes to wind up. I have begun reading with more conviction. I am truly enjoying my much deserved break - and yes Absolutely totally Guilt FREE.

Then there is this second set of people who have been telling me - go pester your manager and get a project soon. I am not sure if I am that variety who can get paranoid and make others paranoid with the same conviction. One of the few skills that I am lacking in and am cognizant of it. Let's be realistic - its really in the company's interest if I get a project ( I'll be earning money for them Dude) and everyone above me with their head on their shoulders knows this VERY well. I really don't have to worry actually - there are others who are doing that bit for me, and i am confident that it will happen at the earliest possibility. Till then am enjoying life :)

I believe that like all other things in LIFE you WORK also balances itself. If you choose to relish the lenient patches you will love your work that follows and your work muscles will get time to repair themselves and get ready for a better stint next time with greater resilience. In the big picture of life a 3-4 weeks or even 2 months don't really matter as much as how much you loved doing what you did and how well you did it. Also this break gives you a chance to go and nourish your learning side - go pick up a skill - it could be a work related or non-work related skill but trust me I have found it works. Anything new that I learn leaves me charged and all set with much more Zeal and Enthusiasm , for instance my recent experiments with Blue and Green eyeliners probably :D (no casualties yet).

SO all those of you who have got this golden opportunity - go enjoy your life - smell the roses - let the sense of Freedom to do the little things like walking around the streets and talking to your friends excite you. This the Game of LIFE - it wouldn't be half as interesting without all these flavors and colors. And it's THE only LIFE we have (unlike our Catty friends ;) who have 9 ). Go get the best out of it and kick Guilt, Worry and all such negative emotions out of the door.

In the end what matters is not where you went but how much you loved the journey and the experience and how much you savoured the journey.. go give it you flavor. Its YOUR game of LIFE - make the RULES yourself.

Friendship - the different flavors

I had just opined "Life is full of relatives - keep distance from them and stay close to your absolutes (friends)" all puns intended.

In the past few days I have had an encounter with many facets of the special bond that we call FRIENDSHIP. I won't call this a relationship cause unlike the cliched relationships this is self nurturing, involves no compromise and is always enriching. A win-win situation in most of the cases.

Life has been quite a game in the past few months with both my spouse and my kiddo having some injuries at the same time. Kiddo had stitches on his arm and was back to normalcy but my poor DH had two of his toes fractured - result immobility for 6 weeks - more than enough to drive any sane person crazy.

It was during this time that one of my friends who made a trip to India from Newzeland- came all the way to Hyderabad for a Day and then came home to meet Satish. I am not sure if we had the opportunity to tell him how much it meant - the visit - because we were too busy in our little banter, but it did mean a whole lot. His trip and his thoughtfulness of coming to Hyderabad in the first place and ensuring he came home and met us since we couldn't go really meant a whole lot. Friends are these people.

I am just wondering if he would have been a relative - he wouldn't have come to Hyderabad - even if he did he would have a hazaar things to do so no time to meet up. We felt really good about this whole hearted gesture - the little things that we do to keep our friendship alive - we shall always cherish. PKG this is for you :)

Then there is this group of married women that i have befriended on a social networking site. I have not known any one of them earlier and have got introduced in there by fluke about 2 years ago. Did it add meaning to my life - yes would be a small word - a whole lot actually - to really know what contemporaries go through across the world gets painted in front of your eyes like a huge painting in a wide range of emotions and colors and i began appreciating the diversity of thought. The camaraderie we built and the bond that we cherished is beyond words.

I had a chance to meet a few of them over this weekend - it wasn't as if i was meeting strangers - it was as if this is a college reunion - actually i might feel more awkward at a reunion - felt more at home with these ladies. These people who made the most of the UTOPIA called Internet to add meaning to each others lives - thanks to you ladies I experienced a totally new flavor of friendship - TIA this is for you :)

I won't say all my friendships have been this enriching, that would be untrue. There have been some that have faded with time. Others that have been lost in the battle of egos and more such demons that stay implanted within us. There have also been some others that have just transformed into acquaintances from friendships - the result of non-proximity or changes that have happened to both me and the friend across the years.

However while i enjoyed them they were as fulfilling as the current friendships that i cherish. They were probably meant to change in order to keep the equilibrium and enable both the parties to make more friends.

This is just an ode to this wonderful bond called Friendship - The above is just a mention of the most recent occurring. If i were to list all the moments that touched me, they might be so many that i will need to write a book. For now am thanking GOD for these wonderful prized possessions and am praying that he keeps them coming :)

The special day - when i learnt ADAPTABILITY

I am not a very birthday celebrations, plans and all that kind of person. Most of my birthdays are quiet with my family and a visit to the temple and some new stuff that I buy.

This year has been quite different with lots of cousins around and a big unexpected celebration and lots of fun. I kind of enjoyed it a lot. My kiddo was equally excited about this whole thing and the cake that he considers rightfully his irrespective of whose birthday it happens to be.

The best part of this birthday (and yes its not the years) was that my granny (Ammamaa - Mom's Mom) was with us and so we were actually 4 generations celebrating this whole thing together. We managed to take her to a Chinese joint where she just sat (I know its mean) but we had fun. Her coming was an achievement of sorts considering that she hails from a very remote village in Andhra Pradesh where there is still untouchability practiced.

She is one lady whom I epitomize - she was married off at 6 yrs of age, had 5 kids lost her husband at 39 yrs of age. Has lived her life with a very clear conscience. Her daughters in law are as close to her as her daughters. She has lived life in the actual orthodox Brahman way that the society demanded. She doesn't attend weddings ( if she does she is in the backstage). She doesn't converse with her sons-in-law directly. In the village she bathes in the morning doesn't touch anyone and performs her 2 hour puja. The house is washed when an onion is cooked.

The milkman that milks the cows is not allowed into the main entrance - he just places the milk outside the gate, she sprinkles turmeric water and then brings that into the kitchen. The maid has a special entrance and is not allowed into the house. All these rules are laid very clearly for all of us to follow when we go to her setup.

She comes to Hyderabad - takes the autos and the buses when required. Shops around with us in general bazaar with the same Enthusiasm that we exhibit, jokes around with my sis that she will wear jeans when she comes to the US. She even suggested a one shoulder frock for my cousin who is in grade 5 for her class party and then she comes to a Chinese restaurant without even batting an eyelid or wondering about the various dishes she will have to smell and see.

All this without a single sign of discomfort, if I were only half as considerate as her and half as adaptable as her the corporate world would be a breeze. We have issues at workplace which are much more sillier and simpler than this lady's adaptability issues. The basic difference is - We choose to Magnify while She chooses to Accommodate.

I learnt a very important lesson in Adaptability and Resilience to change on this Birthday of mine, probably these are signs of growing wiser as one ages. I began my journey on the other side of 30 with a very important lesson. I respect her and draw inspiration from here forever in matters like these. The simplicity with which she handles situations like these and makes it so easy for her family is amazing. I am just wondering how much it will take for us to get there.

Motherhood Strategies

All along for a while now i have been trying to still understand what is management, in its various forms under several names and how it manifests itself in the corporate world. Why does a company invest in some positions on the top rung that do not contribute to the profit numbers directly but are all vital for its working well.

I have recently begun to understand that i have used most of the techniques in my parenting style ( very subconsciously) and they have bombed badly. Am not really sure if it's only my child ( mischief personified) or it is the same case all around the world.

We had recently gone to this industrial exhibition.. and i had prepared my kiddo well in advance that he can buy any 1 thing... a game / toy or anything else - but only ONE. What i totally forgot to clarify is that its 1 across his trip - so he conveniently applied this and said 1 from Mummy, 1 from Daddy, 1 from Grandpa , 1 from Grandma, 1 from Uncle and 1 from Aunt. By now i think he had all that he wanted and i was still wondering why i missed this point.

Then there was this other time that i tried to apply negotiation skills (now i regret). He has been asking for a bicycle for a few months now. I have promised that he can get it on his next birthday. Recently he came and asked for a desktop ( we don't have one yet). Then i told him - Look dear you can have either this or that - and you cannot choose 1 day before - you have to tell me now so that i can place an order.

After 2 days the conversation was like this :

Son - Mummy when i become big can i work on the computer
Me - Yes beta you can
Son - How many years do i have to be?
Me - (wondering where this is heading to) 10 to 12 years (did i say something too quickly)
Son - OK then i want a bicycle - when i am 10 you will automatically buy me a computer - i was pleased this negotiation thingie was working, probably a tad too early

After 2 more days

Son - Mummy you know my teacher in school told me children can use computer from 6 years onwards. You can go and talk to her and then buy me that computer next year when i become 10 you can then buy me computer 10 year olds use.

So this essentially means he wants both. Negotiation training failed - he gets what he wants...

After this point i have decided to stop applying all this at home and be a simple straightforward Mom.. i would rather be prepared than expect miracles.. am just hoping that there are better stories around the world.

The dreaded R word

The whole world seems to be in a frenzy.. markets are dipping, investors are all ill due to the way the stock market is fluctuating. There is no job security, a lot of uncertainty in life - to the degree of how do we pay our bills for the next month. - RECESSION is the forbidden word like the Apple that ruined utopia.


Somewhere i feel this was a known fact. We saw it coming but chose to ignore it. When the going is all hunky dory we refused to acknowledge the fact that there is a balance that will force us to see a trough that follows this crest. We had got so used to Up-swing that we just forgot that there is a virtue called PRUDENCE. Somewhere in the convenience of a job that pays handsomely we forgot that there will be a rainy day.

A person who is in our situation 20 years back would have liked to save and make use of the money better. Most of our generation however, pledged our current and future earnings in EMI, got better homes, cars, gadgets but forgot about getting a better security fund. Why do we need one - when we have jobs like these was our rationale.. we only didn't think what if we don't have this job. I don't mean to hint that there is any impending danger to my current employment, however the market situation is so bad and when i see some of my friends affected it pains me.


I am not a lifestyle addict atleast not completely. I have had my own reservations about spending beyond capacity. However I still see a slight strain when it comes to spending like earlier. I see the need to exercise caution and spend carefully. I see value in the virtue of caution when it comes to Vitamin M.


I also feel this is a good time to foster relationships and spend more quality time with family. If we notice, the best things in life are actually free - spending quality time with my kid or spouse, meditating or exercising for relaxation, watching a movie at home together and many more such things.


All said and done - i would like to wake up at least now and be cautious, spend judiciously and save for the future. Have a discussion with my husband and draw up a financial plan, ensure that we spend cautiously. And like someone told me..


If you were to earn 1 Lakh every month for 20 years and save nothing OR if you were to earn 10 thousand every month and save 3 thousand - which is better?

Have an optimistic approach to live and a pessimistic approach to spending. Happy Planning ahead.

Year 2009 - New Beginnings

Hmm.... the year 2009 is unique. I have a ton of resolutions .... some of them being

To loose weight (this has been around for a couple of years now) - this time though i want to get serious. I have seen a bunch of people who have done something about it - i know its about a lifestyle change and calorie deficit etc.. if anyone were to ask me - trust me i would have more info than any other lean being on the face of this earth but what is more required is probably the lack of one P and the presence of the other P .. i mean lack of Procrastination and presence of Persistence.

To learn how to drive - i know this has been a killer - for someone as independent as me to be tied due to lack of this skill is really really nerve wrecking sometimes.. am trying to come to terms with all the idiots on the road while i try to be one of them.

To be more patient with my kid - lest i become a patient due to anxiety/ depression. Also another thing i noticed - my kiddo never gets annoyed when i shout at him - or when i object.. he just seems to know how not to listen. I think i will find alternatives to the regular parenting routines or make peace with his style of playing which actually means bringing the house down.

Finally to blog more regularly - this is one vent i have which provides me a chance to de-stress and also to visit my own state of mind after a period of time. This is my own personal diary albeit a little less private and more privy to the world.

Hoping that this year turns out to be really special and with several new beginnings and as always i believe that the Year 2009 will be Unique - like all other years that went by.

Have a Happy New Year 2009

The Dental Dilema

After a lot of thought and deliberation i had to make the unavoidable trip to the Dentist. I was not sure why i was going there.. i mean my teeth were just aching a little (very little) when i had cold or hot water but that didn't deter my husband from making the most of this opportunity.

Man, how could he miss the chance to see me cringe at the site of the dentist. And then he promised me he would take me to this best place in the town. We took an appointment for a Saturday, I entrusted my son to my mom for the whole day (you can never trust these dentists and their treatments). A little surprisingly though i got a remainder call for my appointment on Friday - you are not allowed to forget your miseries seemed to be their motto.

I went ahead of time ( thanks to my husband's time sense) and then we were asked to wait for a while. The there was this lanky-panky looking tall guy in one coat who came over and examined my teeth and told me not to worry - just a toothpaste would do.

PHEW.. what a relief - i thought.

BUT he began - both your wisdom teeth are likely to be a problem very soon so we must extract them as soon as possible. I looked at my husband, he was amused and entertained and doubtful all together. I could read his mind. Amused because finally the dentist was not letting me go without any treatment. Entertained because this irritated me to no end.

Doubtful, coz he was wondering why all the wisdom i had only manifested itself in my teeth and not elsewhere.

The he gave me an appointment for the next week, but i got cold and fever during that time so i am successfully postponing the much warranted trip for "Tooth extraction".

Someone just said
"There are 2 Types of problems - Physical and Mental, but one that is both is DENTAL"

Spirit of Festivals

This is the holiday season and there is a lot of festivity in and around us. I was just thrown this question by a colleague of mine who lives in the other part of the world
So, What do you do for this festival - DIWALI ?

Well that's when i told him we prepare sweets, decorate the house and then in the evening we do some prayer and then light crackers and fireworks - its all a fun festival.

That set me wondering - how much of this i actually do - in the right spirit - not much really. So this year I decided to do something on the lines of my proclamation to make it a festival. I went to the old city and shopped and got some trinkets. I also got "Marigold Flowers" and bunches of Mango Leaves.

One day before the festival in the evening - I decorated my house entrance with these flowers and the leaves. A dramatic effect indeed to see the deep orange with the mango green. I went and did this to the entrance of my Prayer Room as well. I had got trinkets to hang on my main door and there they went with bells and mirrors.

All this rubbed on I guess. My husband who had got some lights 2 years back and never used them - fixed those lights and set them up in my balcony. I had also got some Diya shaped lights and they also were arranged - mind you i didn't even have to ask him to do it.

On the day of the festival around 5:00 PM in the evening, I washed the approach steps and the entrance to my apartment and put rangoli all over the place from the stairs till my entrance door. All in all it was fun and I suddenly felt good and my home looked and felt like a new bride :-).

Every year I burnt crackers, but this year I had done much more - I felt much more festive thanks to the effort. I realized that festivity comes from within. We must want to make it special for ourselves else all customs and traditions that were meant to be fun will become mundane. I have also kind of decided to make efforts to give that special touch to all such days going forward.

I have realized that festivals are not merely a reason to get a holiday or to listen to some story that had happened eons ago. It's actually an opportunity to feel fresh, to do something different, to be creative, to come out of the routine and to actually experience the spirit of the festival and to celebrate it in totality.

SO, look within yourself and rediscover your festive spirit, whatever time of the year it is and whatever festival be it , it becomes much more fun and interesting if you take the interest to live it with zeal and do that something special. It also gives you a chance to get out of the routine and feel special in small little ways. So folks up your festive quotient and enjoy the season of festivals.

Happy Holiday season to all of you and Season's greetings.

Wishing for Affluence..

I am human - and since i am a normal human being there are those moments in life when something happens - a Benz or BMW zooms past , i see one of the most good looking heroines looking like that forever, some beautiful jewellery that is beyond my means and many more such insignificant incidents that actually scream out "It's Money Honey!!!" and make me wish i were richer, followed by a pang of guilt which comes after the momentary dreamy state.

These moments happen to every human being i guess. The times when u wish that something magical happens and life transforms into a totally new world. The current constraints seize to exist and there is new found freedom.

The reason why we probably wish for such miracles is because we actually wish to be free from limitations. The human mind seeks liberation. We have created these boundaries ourselves. To have a working couple automatically translates into having more loan taking and repaying capacity. We have lost the basic wisdom of "A penny saved is a penny earned".

Today something happened that made me wish for affluence and i felt truly justified wishing for it. A friend of mine and her husband have been running an NGO for about 10+ years now and after seeing the purpose of it i found a purpose for myself. For once i wished with all my heart that i am affluent enough to be able to help this organization with much more than what i am currently capable of.

And somehow while wishing for wealth at that moment i felt more happy than guilty. I felt liberated rather than limited while wishing for affluence to help this cause. This in itself was a big eyeopener for me.

Take a look at the site that i am mentioning : http://www.seed.org.in/
Spend some time on this site, and lend a hand if you feel like. There is no compulsion but i thought i could share the purpose of my feeling purposeful in life :) and it might help some else find a valid reason to "Wish for Affluence and Abundance".

Kids these days.....

Talk to any parent of the current gen and they will tell you that Kids these days are beyond Comprehension. Super fast, too much , too intelligent are some of the adjectives to this proverbially developing population called our next generation.

At a point like this i was tempted to compare my childhood with that of my kid's. They have schools that don't stress on academics alone and want the child to have overall development. They have parents who want them to go to schools like those. My parents put me in a school because it was close to my house and was good enough like all other schools. Not once do i think my Mom or Dad asked the school what was "Their Philosophy". I'm sure they wanted the best for us but i guess the definition of Best just morphosed into something else over the years.

They are surrounded by luxury. A ton of gadgets that we got familiarized with during our 20 somethings are there for them to use or throw when they are not even 4 something. Desktops, laptops, palmtops, mobile phones and so much more. Did someone just coin a term "Born with Multiple Golden Spoons".

But like all other things in life there is a flip side to this. The kids of today have all the luxuries but are wanting on Time from their parents. I as a mom feel guilty several times of not being able to spend enough time with my 3 ish old son, who is a bundle of abundant energy. But, i manage to take time off and spend time with him, to feel connected to him and to have a meaningful conversation with him.

I have made a personal choice to leave my home dusty, my food uncooked - ordered from outside just so that i can spend that time with my son trying to figure out if the gun he is drawing needs to have a bigger nozzle or not. During all my interactions i realize that there is much more information that they internalize. So if its playing with the X-box or practicing Phonetics at the age of 3 my son does have his share of fun and fight. Then there are friends with names like Akarsh, Mayukha, Mrinmayee, Kaivalya, Akashith - a challenge in itself. My friends names were much Simpler.

Their childhood is more challenging than our childhood. But all in all they are all set to take it with the same Gusto that we took up ours. So maybe that's how the equation gets balanced. Along with luxury comes more responsibility and a more complex world.

As parents we can help them Hope for the best while they have the strength to prepare for the worst. We must try and give them the wisdom to differentiate between a want and a need and instill those necessary human values that will form the pillars for their charachter.

Guess What I saw today !!!!!!

On a busy Monday Morning like this especially after a long weekend - this is the time when things like these happen i guess. So while i was too busy pushing myself to get to work that's when i saw It.......

and when i saw it, it seemed as if everything around stopped, it had been really really long since i had seen it. It was as if i had forgotten about it's existence. Our relationship had been severed due to circumstances. This encounter had really stirred up a lot of memories.. from the past.. fond ones.. not so fond ones.. sad ones and many more like these..

Now before you start drawing conclusions - what i saw was a "Post Box".

Thanks to Internet and email, life has become much more easier but it has also somewhere lost the human touch to communication. I still have letters from my friend of school who went away to Vijaywada to do her engineering and its full of stories - trials and tribulations and the respect that you discover you had for you parents.

Then there is this cousin of mine who loves drawing cartoons, his letters were like a monthly Archie's comic for me. Now we hardly really talk - except for the customary courteous exchanges, thanks to email, chat and of course social networking sites.

The most dreaded moments were those when the postman got my marks home in a postcard. I remember vowing to kill that person who had this brilliant idea in school to increase parent teacher interaction. I can bet all other kids felt the same too.

There were those days when i was new to the computer and my granny had no idea what it was. I used to type the letter in a language conversion software - type in English and it writes in Telugu and then i would print that out and post it to my granny.

All that and much more has been eliminated by the email. Now when we read an email we try to read in between, beneath and over and above the mail to figure out what the person is saying. Its personal but still very impersonating.

And that's why i had a bout of nostalgia when i saw my dear friend - "The Postbox".

My dose of Motivation

Aug 05 2008 - Yesterday - A memorable day of my life..

I had the good fortune of meeting Ms. Kiran Bedi. Seeing her in person and having a chance to have heard her speech - truly inspiring.

Also had a chance to see and listen to Mr. Subroto Bagchi (the brain behind Mindtree consulting). One of the finest and most inspiring speeches i have ever heard till date.

As a retrospective i am now thinking about life in general, and my aspirations towards it in particular. How i can improve over myself. What drives me? what are my passions and so on.

It has truly been a "Self Discovery" exercise from then on and i am sure it will continue to be one. Somewhere in the recent past i have decided to define success for myself.

Success as i see it not as per the society's norms, also not as what my peers see it , sometimes not even as my spouse sees it - Simply as I see it.

Because towards the end it's Me that matters the most. I am back with a new zeal , that will ensure that i become a better person.

Come to think of it - i have realized that all of us are unique and this is really important. So when we want to be better we can only be better than our current selves.

On a closing note - i am quoting what i heard from the leadership of my company..

"Aspire to become what your 5 year old thinks you are."

PS: If you don't have a 5 year old then consider your mom / granny or whoever thinks you are a Super Star...

Wishing you all a Very Happy Journey on the path of Self Discovery...........

Me back Blogging again :)

So really,

I have been off from this blogging for a while now. It seems that i have an On now Off now relationship with this habit.

But i'm ok because i seem to be blogging for myself... this is my vent to creativity.

So here i am back again :) blogging off to joy for now..